Sunday, September 20, 2009

twenty-five after

my life is falling apart, in the most simple and peaceful way possible. strange, and oxymoronical, yes? my friends are all pretty much on good terms with me. my boyfriend is being sweet and we're getting along well. my parents are being nice to each other, which means our home is at peace. my siblings are behaving. life would be perfect.... if only the most important relationship were blossoming, or even more than simply stagnant.

but it isn't.

and it is.

isn't blossoming.

is stagnant.

it's killing me.

and at the same time I can't seem to get my act together and fix it myself.
God, I don't know where I went. or what happened so quickly to pull me so far from You. but I want you back. I want to be back, safe, at your feet and in your arms of love. Pull me back in, please. When I feel far from you, nothing goes right. Help me to get my act together, and seek you. Give me a hunger for you and your word. And please, just don't give up on me.

the loss

CW/TW: pregnancy and miscarriage  Today is Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day. I’ve thought about how to word this for so long, debat...