love unawakened

{{the love unawaked blog is: www.jenniferandkathryn.blogspot.com}}

"A couple weeks ago, Kat asked me to write about my experience of having a pure relationship, to share it with all yall that read Love Unawakened. I'm gonna be honest, I'm not the greatest writer, and not the most amazing person. But I believe that God has worked in my life so much, not only for my sake, but so I can share his great deeds with others! Back in March, I re-met a guy I'd known from a couple years back.. We eventually found each other on facebook and started talking. To make a long story short, he asked me out 3 months later. He was very sweet and gentlemanly, complimented me a lot, and I started thinking that he was "the one". Now, I'd made a purity pledge back in middle school and was sticking to it. The thing was, he lived about an hour or so away from me, so we didn't get to see each other face-to-face that often. Needless to say, the temptations to risk purity in our relationship were almost nonexistent because we rarely saw each other, so that ended up being a good thing. He told me that he thought I was the girl that God wanted him to marry, and many other sweet things along those lines. And I ate up every single word he said. After having been his girlfriend for about 4 months, we went to the movies one day. It was our first "date" without other friends with us, but our moms were still there (mostly because our families barely knew each other). We got in there, and were able to sit by ourselves up in the top of the theater. And here is where I want to point something out to you- it IS possible to be dating, and go to the movies together and not be putting your virginity on the line. I know you hear that you shouldn't sit in a dark movie theater alone with your boyfriend, and I agree with that. Too many things can happen. But I also think a lot of times, you can choose what you will and won't do. And there is NOTHING whatsoever that can make you give in to temptation. You can say no. It will be hard... but you can. That day in the movies, he held my hand for the first time. He is the only guy I have ever held hands with, besides my family. And that was the only time we held hands. I loved it... but after we broke up, that was the one part that kept playing itself over and over in my head. I can't imagine how hard it is for those who kiss each other, or go all the way, to get over their "other half" after breaking up. Knowing how hard it was for me to move past simply holding hands with a young man makes me realize just how precious those physical intimacies are, and how imperative it is to save that for your future spouse! Please don't get me wrong.... I'm not condemning those who have gone farther than I have, or saying that it's wrong to kiss your boyfriend. I believe God gives each of us certain boundaries that we shouldn't cross, and that sex should be saved by all until marriage. But I want to encourage you to save those special moments for whoever you get married to. Each time you let one of those out, you're awakening a little more love. Just like Song of Solomon 8:4 says, “Daughters of Jerusalem, I charge you: Do not arouse or awaken love until it so desires.” Remember that God did create us to love that closeness we share with other people, but that there are certain lines that shouldn’t be crossed. If you haven’t done so yet, I strongly urge each of you to sit down and make a list of your convictions- basically what you will and won’t do. It may include “I won’t have sex until I get married”, “I won’t listen to suggestive music” or “I will pray daily for my future spouse and his/her purity”. Let God lead you to what He knows is best for you. He has a wonderful plan for you that he longs to see unfold, if you’ll just follow Him!"

I'm having another one of those nights.

The tidal waves of emotion buffet me and I can't seem to calm my swirling mind.

The only thing that makes sense is music.

But it's late and I can't be too loud...

It's not as bad as it has been before. I'm able to hold back tears, and pretend I'm ok, even if my mind seems glued to this subject.

Somehow the music just pervades the memories, disappointments, and wishes, and melts it all away.

"For the dear soul knew that music was a very sovereign balm; She had sprinkled it over Sorrow and seen its brow grow calm..."

That line of "The Opening of the Piano" by Oliver Wendell Holmes was written for me. I kid you not.

These times when my heart so longs to just stop (and although I am too scared and not stupid enough to cut, I want to)... these times are when I sprinkle the music over my Sorrows. most of the time it helps. But sometimes, sometimes it just doesn't do enough good.

And it's then that God reminds me that only He can truly heal me and ease my spirit.

"Blessed is the man whom God corrects; so do not despise the discipline of the Almighty. For he wounds, but he also binds up; he injures, but his hands also heal." -Job 5:17-18

lyrics that describe my life currently <3

"did you forget that I was even alive? did you forget everything we ever had? did you forget, did you forget about me? did you regret ever standing by my side? did you forget what we were feeling inside? now I'm left to forget about us. but somewhere we went wrong. we were once so strong. our love is like a song... you can't forget it. so now I guess this is where we have to stand. did you regret ever holding my hand? never again.. please don't forget. don't forget."

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"I'm waiting. I'm waiting on you, Lord, and I am hopeful. I'm waiting on you, Lord, though it is painful. But patiently, I will wait. and I will move ahead bold and confident, taking every step in obedience, while I'm waiting."

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"I'll watch the night turn light blue, but it's not the same without you- because it takes two to whisper quietly. The silence isn't so bad, till I look at my hands and feel sad, cuz the spaces between my fingers are right where yours fit perfectly.... but drenched in vanilla twilight I'll sit on the front porch all night, waist-deep in thought because when I think of you, I don't feel so alone."

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"clouds start comin' and the sky will fall, clock stares back from the bedroom wall, now you're breathin' just to make it through the night. all you need is a sunrise- just a moment of dawn. if you're lost in the twilight, close your eyes and move on. when you're tired of the waiting- even though it's gonna take you a little more time... just a little more time, and the sun's gonna find you."

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"Why would you wanna make the very first scar? why would you wanna break a perfectly good heart? maybe I should've seen the signs, should've seen the writing on the wall, and realized by the distance in your eyes that I would be the one to fall. no matter what you say, I still can't believe that you would walk away. it don't make sense to me, but- why would you wanna break a perfectly good heart?"

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