the fear of the Lord

it's been stormy around here a lot lately. last night, as I was walking back to the practice room, it was lightning profusely, but there was no rain to be felt or thunder to be heard. a slight, eerie wind blew occasionally, but otherwise it was pretty calm. I began thinking about the other day when a friend of mine was talking about how much she loved thunder, and kind of wondered to myself how she did. don't get me wrong, I love storms. but they also scare me. I love the pounding rain, and the bright-veined lightning and rumbling thunder. I love how it scares me with its beauty... how I realize that I'll never fully comprehend the way it works or how a streak of lightning reaches down to earth and catches things on fire. I stand in awe of its beauty but tremble in fear of its power.

and it hit me, that's kind of what the fear of the Lord is, I think. It's not actually being scared of God, but having that awe-inspired mind by the way His voice thunders and mercy pours down on us. it's realizing that we'll never fully understand Him. it's seeing His works and being afraid of the power we realize He holds, because we know how filthy and unrighteous we are in front of his spotless perfection.

chosen.

so as part of the rush process at MC, every girl that rushes gets a big sis, who's an active member in their tribe, that gives them gifts and is basically just there to be there for them.

at the beginning of our 5-week rush process, all the actives began talking amongst themselves and facebook stalking and plotting. A couple weeks ago, we were assigned our bigs and they began giving us letters and presents every few days. For the past 2 or 3 weeks, I've been wondering who my big is and if I'll like her. I still don't know who she is (reveal is tomorrow!), but I've heard some interesting stuff about her from my friends that are already actives.

yesterday I was talking to Elise about bigs, and telling her that I was a little bit scared that I'd get a big that I didn't like or didn't really click with. However, Elise assured me that I knew and liked my big.

"Becca," she informed me, "your big picked you at the first follies practice. she walked in and watched and said 'Yeah, I want Becca.' and walked out."

the first follies practice was at least a month ago.

this blew my mind.

she chose me!

not only did she choose me, but she did so long before everyone else was chosen- by a good two weeks.

the fact that I was wanted, sought after, and "gotten" by someone kind of made me REALLY happy.

I love being wanted, and I never expected that my big could have wanted me from the very beginning.

and as I was standing there smiling and guessing who my secretive big sister is, it's like God hit me in the face.

Hello, Becca! I picked you from the very beginning. I have wanted you and sought after you and "gotten" you! You are mine. I have redeemed you from death, and chosen you to bear fruit and carry my name. You cannot be separated from my love. I've hidden you in myself- you are secure. There will never be a time I leave you, abandon you, or forget you.

(Isaiah 43:1, John 15:16, Romans 8:35, Colossians 3:3, Hebrews 13:5)

What an awesome thought. While being picked by a human that loves me is a wonderful feeling, being chosen and set apart to the God of the Universe- the Creator of the ends of the earth, the Almighty Redeemer, the Savior of my heart- is so much more overwhelming.

Thank you, Jesus for choosing me. Help me to live that out.

admittance

it's all about You, Jesus.

and all this is for You,

for your glory and your name.

it's not about me-

as if you should do things my way.

You alone are God

and I surrender

to your ways.