HE IS.

HE IS
by Aaron Jeoffrey

In Genesis, He's the breath of life
In Exodus, the Passover Lamb
In Leviticus, He's our High Priest
Numbers, The fire by night
Deuteronomy, He's Moses' voice
In Joshua, He is salvation's choice
Judges, law giver
In Ruth, the kinsmen-redeemer
First and second Samuel, our trusted prophet
In Kings and Chronicles, He's sovereign
Ezra, true and faithful scribe
Nehemiah, He's the rebuilder of broken walls and lives
In Esther, He's Mordecai's courage
In Job, the timeless redeemer
In Psalms, He is our morning song
In Proverbs, wisdom's cry
Ecclesiastes, the time and season
In the Song of Solomon, He is the lover's dream
He is, He is, HE IS!
In Isaiah, He's Prince of Peace
Jeremiah, the weeping prophet
In Lamentations, the cry for Israel
Ezekiel, He's the call from sin
In Daniel, the stranger in the fire
In Hosea, He is forever faithful
In Joel, He's the Spirits power
In Amos, the arms that carry us
In Obadiah, He's the Lord our Savior
In Jonah, He's the great missionary
In Micah, the promise of peace
In Nahum, He is our strength and our shield
In Habakkuk and Zephaniah, He's pleading for revival
In Haggai, He restores a lost heritage
In Zechariah, our fountain
In Malachi, He is the son of righteousness rising with healing in His wings
He is, He is, HE IS!
In Matthew, Mark, Luke and John, He is God, Man, Messiah
In the book of Acts, He is fire from heaven
In Romans, He's the grace of God
In Corinthians, the power of love
In Galatians, He is freedom from the curse of sin
Ephesians, our glorious treasure
Philippians, the servants heart
In Colossians, He's the Godhead Trinity
Thessalonians, our coming King
In Timothy, Titus, Philemon He's our mediator and our faithful Pastor
In Hebrews, the everlasting covenant
In James, the one who heals the sick.
In First and Second Peter, he is our Shepherd
In John and in Jude, He is the lover coming for His bride
In the Revelation, He is King of Kings and Lord of Lords
He is, He is, HE IS!
The prince of peace
The Son of man
The Lamb of God
The great I AM
He's the alpha and omega
Our God and our Savior
He is Jesus Christ the Lord
and when time is no more
He is, HE IS!

it's not the end, the end of the world, it's just another day.

so it's officially over. the end. c'est la vie.
the first night, I cried myself to sleep...
but slowly, under the scintillating daylight, I began to heal. Slowly, I realized that God has so much better for me than what I've been settling to lately. (Now don't take that to mean that my now-ex-boyfriend was horrible or way below me or anything... that's not what I'm saying at all! He was {and is} fantastic... but he's just not the guy for me. ya know? anyway...) I'd been settling into an all-time low: expecting so little out of myself and my friends, focusing on all MY problems and that junky high school drama that matters NONE... and God had let me experience the past 6 months or so for exactly that reason. He wanted me to see beyond ME, and focus on Him. on His people. on His love.
so I began to do that, expecting that new-found pain of breaking up to last so very much longer than it did. but, shocked I was to discover this: love really does heal your heart.
I found that as soon as I focus on His loving, and pouring it out onto others, He healed me.
I am so thankful for that... but I must admit, when it first happened, I wanted to curl up in a corner and just exist. I didn't want to wake up the next morning. That may sound extreme to some... but my artist's heart just works that way. But each night I cried less, each day I was more focused. God just pulled me back to His Heart, there is no other way to explain it.

Caramel Macchiato-induced self-realizations

I have entitlement issues. I understand that it is very strange for a female, especially one my age, to have issues accepting gifts. and I am the only girl I know (besides my mother) that has problems with this. I have seen small evidences of it many times, but was hit with the full effect of it a couple weeks ago. After a long day out, I found myself yearning for a piping hot caramel macchiato. When my parents stopped to buy my brother a 35 dollar video game (and ended up getting him a 20-dollar version of a game he already has), I felt slightly wounded, thinking that they almost never do that kind of thing for me. I sarcastically suggested that if he could have a 20-dollar video game, surely I could at least have a 4-dollar coffee. I was ok as we pulled off the road searching for a Starbucks. but when it wasn't where we thought it was, I gave up my want. Against my will, my parents went out of our way to get me a caramel macchiato. Which frustrated me greatly. As I sat in the car on the way home, the previously hot macchiato my mother got me sat untouched and cooled by the second within inches of my grasp. Yet I refused to drink it, or even touch it.
4 dollars were poured down the kitchen sink.
What I realized was this: If I do not have to work for something, it is almost always considered useless to me. If others must go out of their way to get me something, the guilt overwhelms me to the point of not wanting whatever it is. Twisted, I know. And while I feel bad for wasting these things sometimes, it doesn't begin to measure up to how... weak? spinless? needy? dependant?... I feel when I use and appreciate those things. So it all goes back to my needs and how much I hate needing things. How much I hate needing to depend on someone else. How much I hate simply needing anything that I can't get for myself.
I am so messed up.

where the love lasts forever?

I never expected THIS to happen. or at least, not this way. I figured when it finally came, it would be a peaceful, mutual agreement. apparently not. maybe those who said it wasn't worth it, and that I shouldn't be in this, were right. and maybe I was wrong. but at the same time I was right. I knew that it was simply improbable, if not impossible, for someone that cared about me in such a way to mean it. to stay there in the hard times, and even when they didn't want to. I knew the day he left would come. I guess I just didn't expect it to be this soon. and surprisingly, I'm not that sad. I cried some earlier. now I'm just hurt, and extremely dissappointed. I thought he was better than all those others who left me. all the others who lied. all the others who were simply jerks. now, I'm not saying he is a jerk. at all. cuz he isnt'... he just needs some growing-up time. or to make up his mind. I really, honestly, have no clue WHAT he needs, but I know he doesn't need me. or want me. quite obviously.
this pains me so much to admit. because I really thought he meant all that stuff he said. yet at the same time, I kinda saw it coming.
Oh, Lord. I need you, so so much. This is going to be very hard to do, and I need your strength and comfort. Please be with me in this. Guard my mouth. Guard my heart. Hold me in your hands and never let me go.
As You Wish.

wish away today

sometimes I get so tired of
wondering what life would be like
I wish I could just know it,
not have to worry, wonder or hide.
why can't I just know my future,
not have to dream or wish?
is there a reason I stay so ignorant,
other than hoping for bliss?
so many questions, too much doubt and fear
not to mention my already-shaken
foundation of so-called confidence,
mingles with worry of breaking.
not my heart, not an arm,
the fear of breaking is not
vertical, no need for alarm.
I fear breaking myself, this fragile world.
It would crumble at any chance,
with a quick glance or terse word
it would break, all fall, and tumble.
I want to fly away with freedom of a bird
I want to get away from this mess
I call my life
sick of hurt, am I, and love.
sick of every kind of strife;
get me out of here, I beg
reach down and pull me from the box.
I wish to close my heart forever
make rusted all the locks.
yet as I pray this and wish
I see it as You do.
I see that there is no real life
if I have not pain too.
and while I wish to know my future
I only learn things from the past
I realize that to know what tomorrow held
would make my life fly by too fast.
so while I wish for more than this,
I hold fast to your promise:

"The LORD will fight for you,
you need only to be still."

twenty-five after

my life is falling apart, in the most simple and peaceful way possible. strange, and oxymoronical, yes? my friends are all pretty much on good terms with me. my boyfriend is being sweet and we're getting along well. my parents are being nice to each other, which means our home is at peace. my siblings are behaving. life would be perfect.... if only the most important relationship were blossoming, or even more than simply stagnant.

but it isn't.

and it is.

isn't blossoming.

is stagnant.

it's killing me.

and at the same time I can't seem to get my act together and fix it myself.
God, I don't know where I went. or what happened so quickly to pull me so far from You. but I want you back. I want to be back, safe, at your feet and in your arms of love. Pull me back in, please. When I feel far from you, nothing goes right. Help me to get my act together, and seek you. Give me a hunger for you and your word. And please, just don't give up on me.