wish away today

sometimes I get so tired of
wondering what life would be like
I wish I could just know it,
not have to worry, wonder or hide.
why can't I just know my future,
not have to dream or wish?
is there a reason I stay so ignorant,
other than hoping for bliss?
so many questions, too much doubt and fear
not to mention my already-shaken
foundation of so-called confidence,
mingles with worry of breaking.
not my heart, not an arm,
the fear of breaking is not
vertical, no need for alarm.
I fear breaking myself, this fragile world.
It would crumble at any chance,
with a quick glance or terse word
it would break, all fall, and tumble.
I want to fly away with freedom of a bird
I want to get away from this mess
I call my life
sick of hurt, am I, and love.
sick of every kind of strife;
get me out of here, I beg
reach down and pull me from the box.
I wish to close my heart forever
make rusted all the locks.
yet as I pray this and wish
I see it as You do.
I see that there is no real life
if I have not pain too.
and while I wish to know my future
I only learn things from the past
I realize that to know what tomorrow held
would make my life fly by too fast.
so while I wish for more than this,
I hold fast to your promise:

"The LORD will fight for you,
you need only to be still."