what on earth?

As I sit in the floor of my bathroom, on my almost-numb booty and try to keep my brain from scrambling up these morse-code-like rhythmic tones humming in my earbuds. I hate you, homework. I hate school. I hate being here. I just want to go home.

I know it's not like me to be so depressed over something so small, and it's not like me to want to give up so quickly. What on earth is going on with me?

and it hits me... it's not something "on earth". The stinking devil is tripping me up REAL good. Why does it surprise me that right as I'm really beginning to get back to God, and really fall into His Love, that I get super depressed and want to give up on everything? It shouldn't. I should expect this and be ready for it, but I never am. and I often let him win.

God, I don't know what I'm doing. I don't know how to change the fact that I let the devil affect me. Please protect me and help me guard my heart & mind. Carry out your will in my life, no matter what ways it takes, but support me God. I can't do anything without you.