Saturday, April 12, 2014

in the subtlety and softness

There's one question that keeps popping up in my life lately that I'm beginning to hate.
What's God teaching you lately?
Usually this question wouldn't bother me. Usually I'd jump right in and talk about what I've been learning in daily reading or listening, or just start talking until something logical and answer-like came out of my mouth. 
But this week, at least three people threw this question at me and I was at a loss.
I don't really know why. It's partially because I haven't been faithful in my devoted Jesus time. It's also partially because of something else that I haven't figured out yet. 
And in that, I find my answer.

God's teaching me that I don't always have to have an answer. I don't have to know what I'm learning yet. I don't have to have an answer and be all figured out and know what I'm doing. I can just be. I can just live and be His and He'll give me words and solid heart songs when He deems fit. 

It's simple, and subtle, and rudimentary. But it's something I forget often and something God softly slipped back into my mind the way He does. 

One of my favorite movie quotes says, "Sometimes love isn't fireworks. Sometimes love just comes softly." And I love that because it applies to God's agape love just as well as human eros love. Sometimes his love, his lessons, and his leading don't rush in and surprise you and light everything up.
Sometimes they just slip in beside you and slide their gentle, soft hand in yours and start walking in step with you.

welcome to midnight.

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