thoughts of Him that well up in my heart:

I'm really good at overthinking, which you probably already know.
This means that there are continually about 4 or 5 intersecting thoughts in my head, it seems. It's usually a lot of lists and trailing thoughts leading to related topics and such.
Today, I can't help but think of a list of all the reasons that I just love my Jesus, so here it goes:

I love his smiling eyes. I've never seen them, but I feel them a lot, and they're probably the happiest eyes I know.

I love his silliness. Sometimes I can hear Him in my heart just giggling at me (I use "giggling" here not to detract from his manliness, but because I truly believe He can giggle, because I can, and I was made like Him) when I do silly things or have whimsical moments. I think when I run through the rain splashing in puddles, or jump off ledges pretending to flap my wings and fly, that he giggles at me and shakes his head a little and says, "I just love her."

I love his strength. It doesn't run out. It is tender enough to create a child, and powerful enough to devastate entire countries. It is patient enough to work in me slowly, and perfect enough to work best in my weakness.

I love how easygoing he is. There is no such thing as awkward conversations with us. I can tell him anything, rest in Him, sing to Him, yell at him, and just sit there with him and talk without want of conversation topics, for my words come from the overflow of my heart, and He knows my heart so well, and loves me despite its mess.

I love how compassionate and loving he is. His love for the world, for sinners, and for His children is humbling and captivating and breathtaking. It serves as a constant reminder and conviction for me to love others more fully than I think myself capable, more humbly than I find myself able, and more selflessly than is comfortable for me.

I love how consuming he is. When he shows up, everything that is touched by his presence is changed. It's truly intoxicating to be near him, because of his fervor and zeal for the glory of God and the salvation of sinners. We literally could not live if we were to experience Him fully, because his nature is to consume everything that comes near him, so we live life experiencing snippets of his goodness and glory. It's awe-inspiring.

I love his reprimands. They are often painful, yes, but I know that he is good to those who trust him and whose hearts are His. His hands not only injure and wound, but they also bind up and heal. His ability to break things, and rebuild that which is better and eternal is marvelous.

I love his magnificence. His beauty, excellence, and extravagance are unending, and, opposite from the things of this world, only become stronger and more detailed with time and closeness.

I love his relevance. Not only has he experienced what human life is truly like, but he has also experienced what spiritual life is truly like. He understands 100% of everything I see, hear, do, feel, need, want, etc. He has been in existence forever. He is moving and teaching and being faithful today. He will be all of that, forever. How much more relevant and relatable does it get?

I love his grasp. I love that he holds fast to me when I try to wrest my hand from his grip. I love that his hands are small enough to hold mine and big enough to hold the world. I love that he gave us hands, like his, so that we would know what it means to be held.

I love how unfathomable he is. It's nothing short of phenomenal that He chooses to use weaklings like me on a daily basis to do His awesome deeds. It doesn't make sense. It is odd, illogical, nonsensical, and terrifying. But the fact that it just IS that, and He just DOES and IS everything gives me the peace to rest in the fact that I can't understand it or explain it. If my 'god' were big enough for me to explain, comprehend, or "get", I don't think he would be a god worth serving or a god strong enough to save.

I love his whispers. I've always been a fan of the gentle, intimate nature of whispers and the fact that God is the author of whispers is probably one of my favorite facts about him. The fact that His whispers are meant to be shouted from rooftops (Matt. 10:27, Luke 12:3) is even better. I love how so much of the things he says come about as small intimations and are uttered by a still, small voice.

I love that he accepts my "love". I still don't know how to love fully. I still don't understand or comprehend unconditional love. I still love conditionally, and often times give less than I have.
I love that in spite of my selfishness and inability to fully love, he continues to teach me love by being love to me. He continues to accept the little bits of myself that I have left to give him, and fills me so full of his love that it slowly adds on to my own ability to love him and others.

These are pieces of what He's been doing in my heart. These are miniscule, humanly-expressed versions of the true Him that I've been experiencing. and I love it, and the deep wells of Him it's producing in me.