where the love lasts forever?

I never expected THIS to happen. or at least, not this way. I figured when it finally came, it would be a peaceful, mutual agreement. apparently not. maybe those who said it wasn't worth it, and that I shouldn't be in this, were right. and maybe I was wrong. but at the same time I was right. I knew that it was simply improbable, if not impossible, for someone that cared about me in such a way to mean it. to stay there in the hard times, and even when they didn't want to. I knew the day he left would come. I guess I just didn't expect it to be this soon. and surprisingly, I'm not that sad. I cried some earlier. now I'm just hurt, and extremely dissappointed. I thought he was better than all those others who left me. all the others who lied. all the others who were simply jerks. now, I'm not saying he is a jerk. at all. cuz he isnt'... he just needs some growing-up time. or to make up his mind. I really, honestly, have no clue WHAT he needs, but I know he doesn't need me. or want me. quite obviously.
this pains me so much to admit. because I really thought he meant all that stuff he said. yet at the same time, I kinda saw it coming.
Oh, Lord. I need you, so so much. This is going to be very hard to do, and I need your strength and comfort. Please be with me in this. Guard my mouth. Guard my heart. Hold me in your hands and never let me go.
As You Wish.