paul=wow.

I've been reading through the Bible this year, and am currently flying through all of Paul's letters to the churches, Timothy, and Titus. Tonight I started Titus, and for the umpteenth time in the past 3 weeks or so, I was utterly blown away by how amazing Paul was. I want to meet that man so badly. He was such a thinker, sometimes I have to re-read his writings sooo many times to comprehend what he's said. but check this out, I find it to be so true!

Titus 1:15-16 "To the pure, all things are pure, but to those who are corrupted and do not believe, nothing is pure. In fact, both their minds and consciences are corrupted. They claim to know God but by their actions they deny him. They are detestable, disobedient and unfit for doing anything good."

HOW CONVICTING.

If I find myself thinking impure or perverted thoughts, or seeing those things as funny, the passage in Ephesians 5 often pops into my head. There, Paul urges us to walk as children of the light and have no part of darkness in us. and now this! wow. If I am finding ANYTHING AT ALL in my life to be impure, corrupted, or twisted- THAT MEANS I AM IMPURE, CORRUPT AND TWISTED. just goes to show that our heart really is deceitful above all else! (Jeremiah 17:9).

Oh, God, help me to lift you up with my actions, attitudes, thoughts, and words. I don't want to deny you in any way! I want to be fit to do good and bring glory to you. So purify my heart, that I may become like you.

second chances.

sometimes the past just won't leave me alone. seems like I finally get past something, or am able to move past memories with someone... only to suddenly have it spring back into my life. why does this always seem to happen to me? something happens that pulls me away from someone. and just when I finally adjust to it, they come back. and why does it seem like they're always better when the second time comes back around? more friendly, or kinder, or cuter, or easier to talk to. why does this happen? with guys, with friends... always happens. uggghhhh. I don't like it a whole lot. with friends, sometimes it's ok. with guys? never good.

it always just seems to make life more complicated. like life is easy to begin with and I NEED more complication? negatory.

and then I'm caught in this, do-I-try-to-let-them-back-in-or-do-I-ignore-the-attempt scenario. which is never easy to decipher. EVER. I hate making those decisions (of course I hate almost any decision-making, but...), they're the worst.

bahahaha... I just realized what a pessimist I'm being. and I feel kinda bad... but blogging is my emotion release and well, this is the most present emotion right now.

so the sum of all this is:

do I give them a second chance or not? is this worth it? or will I get walked out on again?

bad moods.

yes, I'm weird. I eat peanut butter and cheese sandwiches. I hate geometry. I love poetry. I actually enjoy school most of the time. I have the heart of an artist, which means I am basically bipolar. I can be grinning from ear to ear one moment and ready to rip someone's head off within minutes. I peel the crust off my bread. I haaaate cockroaches. I like to sit on top of my mailbox. I get extremely nervous in awkward situations. When I have to speak in front of people, my heart beats out of my chest. I can't stand fast-food hamburgers. Love scenes in movies make me feel extremely awkward/weird. I have a huge celebrity crush on William Moseley. that often embarrasses me. I hate feeling different from other people, especially close friends. I get that feeling often. I often bare my heart on my blog (obviously). Music soothes my emotions. I am the most worried, scared, and naturally anxious person on the face of the earth. I have horrible self-esteem. I am scared of being an old maid. I am also scared of getting married. I hate the color of my eyes. I wish I was a kid again. I love quotes. I am self-centered. I don't deserve my Savior. But I am so in love with him. I can't live without him. I think about guys too much. I focus on fear too much. I am often ADD/ADHD. I don't recycle. I feel ugly. I want so badly to pay someone back sometimes... but never do. I regret my words so often. I wish chick flicks were reality. I have so much growing up to do. I hope someone loves me.

but then it's not about me. so none of that matters, does it?

it's all about Him.

and I thank him that I don't matter, that He is everything. because I am nothing.

I'm found in the arms of love.

as many of you know, music plays a huge part in my life. God has used music I play and listen to, to do some huge things in my life! one of the songs he uses so many times to humble me and draw me to him, to bring me running into his arms of love (also the source for my blog url), is called King Of All Days by Hillsong. enjoy. :)

In your surrender
As you lay down your life
You took up a sinners cross
And your live rescued mine

In this redemption
Love and mercy display
Lifting my eyes to see
That your truth never fails

Lord of the heavens
King of all days
Without you my world slips away
Redeemed by your mercy
Consumed by your grace
Now I live for you

I'm found in the arms of love
Your love it has saved my soul
I'll run to your arms of love
Your life's gonna lead me home

Glorious savior
In your light I am free
If things of this world will fail
Still you're all that I need

Lord of the heavens
King of all days
Without you my world slips away
Redeemed by your mercy
Consumed by your grace
Now I live for you

I'm found in the arms of love
Your love it has saved my soul
I'll run to your arms of love
Your life's gonna lead me home

(And) at your cross
I lay my burden
At your feet
Where your love covers
All I've done
Now I walk with you lord

I'm found in the arms of love
For your love it has saved my soul
I'll run to your arms of love
Your life's gonna lead me home

one of those days

it's been one of those days. hopeless romantics thoughts fly through my head. the sunset sparks a glow in my heart that can't be turned down. I love everything. from the rough scratch of a brick against my skin, to a cool green clover beneath my feet, to the chill bumps you get from those sweet spring breezes. everything is aesthetically appealing. everything is beautiful. it's optimism in its purest form. love unblemished. hope unhindered.

it's perfection... plus some gnats. ;)

I love these days... these short moments that never last long enough.

but at least they come. even as short as they may be, they brighten the world. they brighten my life and the darkness that may be there. bringing pure hope, joy, love, and peace in the midst of this insanely hectic life. thank you, God, for these days.

reading in Romans.

firstly I would love to thank Paul for being such an intellectual God-scholar! If you have never really read Romans... READ IT. It is amazing, beyond comprehension. not to mention extremely thought-provoking.

so I was reading my devotional the other night, in Romans 5 & 6.

just take a second to read this, yall.

"Consequently, just as the result of one trespass was condemnation for all men, so also the result of one act of righteousness was justification that brings life for all men. For just as through the disobedience of the one man the many were made sinners, so also through the obedience of the one man the many will be made righteous.

The law was added so that the trespass might increase. But where sin increased, grace increased all the more, so that, just as sin reigned in death, so also grace might reign through righteousness to bring eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord.

Romans 6

What shall we say, then? Shall we go on sinning so that grace may increase? By no means! We died to sin; how can we live in it any longer? Or don't you know that all of us who were baptized into Christ Jesus were baptized into his death? We were therefore buried with him through baptism into death in order that, just as Christ was raised from the dead through the glory of the Father, we too may live a new life.

If we have been united with him like this in his death, we will certainly also be united with him in his resurrection. For we know that our old self was crucified with him so that the body of sin might be done away with, that we should no longer be slaves to sin— because anyone who has died has been freed from sin.

Now if we died with Christ, we believe that we will also live with him. For we know that since Christ was raised from the dead, he cannot die again; death no longer has mastery over him. The death he died, he died to sin once for all; but the life he lives, he lives to God.

In the same way, count yourselves dead to sin but alive to God in Christ Jesus. Therefore do not let sin reign in your mortal body so that you obey its evil desires. Do not offer the parts of your body to sin, as instruments of wickedness, but rather offer yourselves to God, as those who have been brought from death to life; and offer the parts of your body to him as instruments of righteousness. For sin shall not be your master, because you are not under law, but under grace."

wow. there is so much here! man. I don't think I can begin to delve into this. Read it.

read it again.

slowly... read it out loud. eat it.

that's all I've got.

over & out.