and the ultimate goal is...

I love how God works. he works in weird, mysterious, and unimaginable ways. which he's been doing a lot of in my life lately. can I just take you back a couple days and tell you what an awesome thing He did?
so I'm in adult choir at church, and we had practice wednesday night. my two good friends that joined choir with me were both out of town, so I'm in practice alone. not fully alone of course, cause there's a whole choir, but with no friends. A couple of the songs I struggled hearing my part and was too shy to ask to hear it again, because all the songs we're doing are ones that people who've been in adult choir all ready know, so it's like beating a dead horse for them.
anyway, I'm feeling less and less secure in my sight-singing, and found myself just getting really depressed. after all, I'm a quarter of the way done with my Music Ed. major, and I can't even hear the stinking second soprano part! (not to mention the fact that I don't even know if I should be singing first or second soprano or alto, or what.) and I was just so wrapped up in thinking, "If I'm sitting here in a choir and I can't hear my part with the piano playing under me, how on earth am I going to be a good music TEACHER?! I can't do this!" It continued to grow in depressing-ness, to the point that I eventually stopped singing and was just mouthing the words. I fought back the tears that tried to well up in my eyes. It was a horrible feeling, a terrible thought, and a worse moment. Then we finally finished that song and in my head all I could think was "I just can't do it. I can't be a music teacher. I'm not good enough." 
then, our director looked right at me and smile slyly. 
she held up a 2x2 slip of white paper.
"I don't know who this is for, or why it's here, but I just found this paper in my book. God put this in here for me to share with someone tonight: 'I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me."
there was more she said, and I wasn't the only one she looked at, but it sure felt like the whole room was staring me down. 
She moved on to other songs, and I tried not to cry my way through them, but it ended up I did.
God completely broke me, and it was all I could do to stay in the room and not run to my car and bawl my eyes out. 
He put that in there for me.
I'd never had complete confirmation of my chosen major until that point, and it was settled. God has some reason for me to be a music teacher, and I can do it. Though I doubt myself, I cannot doubt His power working in me. "With His power working in us, we are able to do immeasurably more than anything we could ever hope or imagine," is the Becca version of Ephesians 3:20-21. and how true that is. 
God, forgive me when I doubt your power. Forgive me for being so self-focused and self-pitying. I don't want to doubt your ultimate plan for my life, please help me to learn to trust you with everything in every circumstance. Develop me. Mold me. Sharpen me. Just use me, please. Use me.