the coming undone.

I just wanna yell at You, God.
While I know it's wrong,
My heart's song has slowly faded,
Leaving me here, confused, jaded.


What happened to me?
Did the music leave my soul
Or is it still there,
Trying to make me whole?


I can't hear Your song.
Did You stop it?
I can't hear anything.
Yet I need it, I need to sing
To find You again, King.
Sing me back to You.


I still and search and wait...
On nothing? At this rate,
I'll sit here forever.
JUST SPEAK, LORD.
SING OVER ME.
When I can't tell if You're there,
I forget how to breathe.


How dare I doubt,
How dare I raise my voice?
How dare I demand a response?


Yet doesn't He see me here, stuck?
Out of luck.
Can't He hear my heart screeching,
Or is He simply teaching?


Lessons in silence-
I hate them the most.
They make me lose myself,
My sanity, they leave me unable to cope,
I stop and abandon all hope.


But I don't want to go
Back there again.
Doesn't He know that?
Can't He see what a mess I am
And that there's no use
Salvaging this rubbish?


I need Him.
I need His music.
I need to know He's actually there,
He actually cares.
I need to know if He thinks I'm worth saving.
Or am I simply draining?


Hi, nice to meet you,
I'm lost, confused, hopeless.
Nice to see you, 
They call me passionless.
Good to see you today, while I'm down at rock bottom.
Hope you have a nice day,
While I drown, lungs full of air.


Please forgive me for making up all these excuses.
Please remind me just why I'm still trying.


SATAN, STOP IT.
GOD COME! GOD COME!
WHERE ARE YOU?!
RESCUE.
HOSANNA: SAVE NOW!


I feel this battle over my
Heart, mind, & soul.
I know you're here,
Fighting for me.


I just need You.
I need Your song.
Sing it in my heart,
Remind me of Your tune,
And we can harmonize
Your beautiful melody.
Just give me time to open my eyes.


{written 5.4.2011}